It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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