I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
