I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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