At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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