so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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