Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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