I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
