why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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