the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
