I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just had sex on a roof
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
