how can u be prego again
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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