What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Randomize
