Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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