I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
