the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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