I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize