Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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