During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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