I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Randomize
