I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
