He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He shit in the fireplace
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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