When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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