Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
