Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
