NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
being pregnant is like rehab
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Dear god my vagina.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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