Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
