I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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