Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
