Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize