Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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