U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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