Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
