Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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