I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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