chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
