OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
