Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
