remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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