i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
More tranny stories later!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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