have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
