I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
