I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
