Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
