At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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