I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
They took my balls.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
