It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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