How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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