I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
