Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
fuck your aforementioned shoe
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
