Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
