So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
