Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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