i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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