Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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