I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
