If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
