Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
