So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize