and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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