Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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