In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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