i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
