Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
